Stationery Etiquette (from save the dates to your wedding day)

Why your wedding stationery is important

The main purpose of your wedding stationery is conveying important details about your wedding to your guests, however, stationery can do much more than that. A simple way to create a cohesive look through your wedding is through your wedding stationery. It is effective in communicating the style and type of experience you want your guests to have. While save-the-dates don't have to follow within the color scheme or theme of your wedding (sometimes you send them out before nailing down all the details yet), the rest of your stationery (from the invite suite to programs, menus, signage and other day-of wedding stationery) having a similar look helps to create unity in your wedding design which is just more aesthetically pleasing. 

Wedding stationery 101

So, what is considered wedding stationery? 

During the pre-wedding/planning stage, wedding stationery encompasses engagement announcements, save the dates (and/or change the date cards), and your wedding invite suite (invitation, RSVP card, and insert cards which could give more details about the timeline, location, accommodations, or any other important information you can't fit on your invite).

And for your wedding, there are two main events. For your ceremony, you could consider a welcome sign, directional signage, informational signage (such as a timeline), cards & gifts sign, ceremony programs, and "chair reserved" cards. And for the reception, you can reuse the welcome and cards & gifts signage, and consider table numbers, place and/or escort cards, favor tags or stickers, and menus. 

The timeline

8-14 months out: Start ordering and sending out save-the-dates. If you are having a destination wedding (or expect a majority of your guests to have to travel), start sending out your save-the-dates 8-12 months out. Start ordering invitation samples now as well.

5-7 months out: Order your invitation suite. Be sure to proofread (and proofread again!)!!! Double check with your venue about start times of the ceremony and reception. When you get your invite suite in, be sure to take it to the post office to get weighed to calculate postage. Depending on the type of paper and the amount of insert cards, etc., one stamp may not be enough to cover postage. 

2-4 months out: Guests should receive invites between this time. Set your RSVP date approximately 2-3 weeks before the final counts are due to your vendors so that you can reach out to anyone you have not heard from.

1-2 months out: Order your day-of stationery to ensure it a, gets to you on time and b, is something you are satisfied with and gives you time to play around with staging it with decor options.

And lastly, don't forget to order thank you notes!!!

The invite suite

Listed in order of how they are stacked inside an envelope.

The invite: this tells your guests who is getting married, who is hosting, when and where the wedding will take place.

The RSVP card: The RSVP card is how you collect information on who is coming to your wedding. This gathers information such as how many are in the party, what their meal preference is/if they have any food sensitivities, and you can add something fun like asking your guests for song requests or to give you wedding advice. There are two main ways you can collect this info - you can ask your guests to fill out and send a physical card back to you and/or ask them to fill out an online RSVP form. The physical RSVP card option is nice for older folks who may not be as comfortable with technology; online collection makes it super accessible and easy to track; and a combination of the two can be hard to track but is very doable. A newer trend is including a QR code to RSVP, and if you like the look of that then it's perfect for you, but for most designs it can detract from the look.

The Details card:  This is anything you want it to be. You will likely have more information than will fit on the main invitation without crowding. Details cards can have:

• Accommodation info
• Dress code
• Directions (only necessary if you have elderly guests not comfortable with GPS or have a very hidden venue)
• Shuttle or bus to venue information
• Reception location and details if it is different from the wedding venue
• Your wedding website (and/or registry)
• Brunch, or cocktail information, or any other weekend festivities

The envelopes: The RSVP envelope (pre-addressed and usually includes postage back to you), the invite envelope, and optionally an outer envelope (if you use an outer envelope, include the guests' address on the outer and the names on the inner envelope).

Decorative options: Vellum liners, belly bands, wax seals, ribbon, dried flowers, etc etc etc (if you see a trend you like, it's usually fairly easy to copy it).

Save the dates

• "Save the Date"
• Your names
• Your wedding date
• Wedding location *just the city/state, NOT your venue name (this will be shared later)
• Wedding website
• "Invitation (Invite) to Follow"

The Invite (wording)

The host line: this is the line that traditionally includes your parents' names (can be one side or both sides). More popular today is wording like - "Together with their/our families", "Together with their parents", "With open hearts", "Together with full hearts", or "With great joy"

The request line: This is the "please come to our wedding!" line, which usually indicates how formal or not you would like your wedding to be. For more formal vibes, go with something like "request the honor of your presence"; for more informal vibes, go with something like “would love for you to join them...” or “want you to come party with us…”. Keep in mind "the honor of your presence" usually signifies a religious ceremony, while "the pleasure of your company" signifies a non-religious ceremony - I know, so many niche rules (hence the blog post...)

The action line: This is the line outlining what the event is. If your parents are hosting - "at the marriage of their daughter" or "marriage of their children"; if you are hosting yourselves -"at the celebration of their wedding" or "as they tie the knot".

Couples' names: This may seem straightforward, but here are some simple rules to follow. For heterosexual couples, the bride's name comes first followed by the groom's name. For same-sex couples, you have a little more flexibility by listing the couples' names in alphabetical order or whatever looks best with the specific design.

Date & time: Traditionally, the date and time should be spelled out in full (i.e. "October Nineteenth two thousand twenty-one, at noon"). 

• The day of the week and the month should be capitalized. The year should be lowercase (there is no “and” when spelling out the year).
• Time of day should be spelled out as “four o’clock” or “half after four o’clock.” Note that “half after” is the most traditional way to indicate time. However, less formal invitations can use “half past four o’clock” or “four-thirty.”
• There is no need to add phrases such as “in the afternoon” or “in the evening” unless the event takes place at times like 8, 9 or 10. You should then designate “in the morning” or “in the evening” for clarity.

Location: THIS is where you include your venue location(s). One line should be the venue name, and the address/city and state should be listed on a separate line. Zip codes are not usually included.

Reception: If the reception is at the same location at the ceremony, you can simply say "reception to follow" or "dinner and dancing to follow". If the reception is at a different location, you can list the venue on the following line, or you may decide to include a separate insert card (called a reception card) inviting guests to the reception, with the venue’s full address.

Others: Dress code (blog post to follow) and/or your wedding website info

If you have any questions, stationery is kind of my thing (besides planning), so please feel to reach out!