Wedding traditions

Wedding traditions

When you book with me, I will send you a "wedding traditions" form that helps us build your timeline to include all the aspects you want in your ceremony and reception. I will ask that you fill this out at least a few months prior to your wedding day. 

While the form is fairly short and basic, there are hundreds, if not thousands, of wedding traditions that exist - all with their own meanings and history. As a bride and groom in the 21st century, all of these choices between honoring your own family traditions and adopting new ones can be really overwhelming. 

This blog post is designed to not only give a little more information and context about the traditions listed in the form, but I would also like to give more details about other traditions that may be of interest to you as a couple. 

Pre-wedding

A common pre-wedding trend is the first look or the first touch. This is so that your first interaction on the day of your wedding is private and personal. This may help those who are super nervous about walking down the aisle, and feeling those big emotions in front of a crowd - which is totally understandable. 

The first look is exactly what it sounds - you, your spouse to be, and your photographer (if you want your first look to be captured) find an area that is private, quiet, and out of the way of other wedding guests. One half (usually the groom) will already be waiting in this area, facing away from the entrance (or have their eyes closed), while the other half (usually the bride) walks towards them and taps their partner on their shoulder, and that person turns around. The following moments are emotional and priceless.

This is from my brother's wedding nearly a decade ago, and 

it is often the picture I show couples deciding whether or not

they want to do a first look. 

The first touch on the other hand (no pun intended) does not involve looking at your partner before the ceremony, but still allows for a private moment to spend with your soon-to-be-spouse to reflect and take a moment to breathe before all the craziness. It is common for Christian couples to say a prayer with each other during the first touch.

Credit: Madera Estates

Another pre-ceremony tradition is to write a letter to your spouse the night before your wedding, to be given to them the morning of as they are getting ready.

Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue -  some brides take part in this Old English tradition, where they follow the lines of the poem: something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue, and a sixpence for your shoe. It's  believed that carrying the items on your wedding day wards off evil spirits and bad luck to your marriage.

During the ceremony

Religious - I don't want to accidentally butcher any religious traditions despite doing research, so if there are any particular traditions you would like to include during your ceremony beyond the traditional flow of the service, let's schedule a chat with you, me, and your religious official performing your ceremony.

Non-religious

Vow exchange - while vows are traditionally exchanged during religious ceremonies, they can be a part of non-religious ceremonies as well. Vows are essentially the promises you make to each other for your marriage and life together. 

Ring exchange - ring exchanges also take place in most religious ceremonies, but rings symbolize your commitment to each other. You can also add a "ring warming" to this tradition, where the rings are passed between your immediate family and bridal party to symbolize their support of you as a couple and to put positive energy into the rings as they are passed along.

Hand fasting - hand fasting has Celtic roots, dating back to the medieval period. It involves binding the couples' hands with ribbons or cords that symbolize their marriage (the colors of the ribbons can symbolize certain things, like purity, commitment, passion). You can also add a "rope warming" to this tradition, which is exactly like the ring warming previously mentioned where the rope is passed along between immediate family and the bridal party to symbolize their support of you.

Unity ceremonies - there are many versions of traditions that symbolize the unity of the couple, such as the candle lighting/candle unity (the couple lights a single candle from two separate flames), the sand pouring/sand unity (the couple adds sand to a vase from two separate containers), the salt pouring/salt unity (same as above, except they can then use the shared salt to cook at home, making it a great option for food-loving couples), paint pouring ceremony (the couple can create an abstract art piece together by pouring two different colors of paint onto a canvas), and many more

Time capsules - during the ceremony, the couple can do a variety of things with this time capsule tradition. Usually, the couple writes love letters to each other and seals them in a box to be opened at a later date (such as an anniversary) during the ceremony. You can also include your favorite bottle of wine or alcohol, and other keepsakes. 

Loving cup ritual -  this tradition dates back at least 900 years. The couple takes a drink from a shared cup (traditionally a two-handled silver cup), the idea is that the shared drink is sweeter.

Post-ceremony 

Jumping the broom - dates back to around the 1800s, and has a West African root. Jumping the broom just after you are officially declared husband and wife symbolizes sweeping away your past and jump into your new life together. 

Tree planting - this is an ancient ritual, with no certain dates or cultures partaking. The couple plants a tree at or near their home, representing the roots the couple are putting down, and the growth through their marriage. 

Honor guard - this tradition is where the couple's close friends hold something up to create a canopy for the couple to walk under. Typically, this is a tradition practiced by those in the military, and sabers are the objects that are held up to create a canopy. However, many couples like the idea and look of walking under the canopy together - they may have their friends hold up light sabers, brooms, sports equipment (such a lacrosse sticks, hurlers, hockey sticks) as the canopy. 

Taking shots -  some couples invite their guests to join them in taking a shot of something alcoholic during the ceremony, to toast their new marriage. 

Second line parade -  a New Orleans tradition, but one that could be considered if the ceremony and reception are taking place within walking distance of each other. Typically, the band playing is a New Orleans-style jazz band, but it can be anything from bagpipes to a kazoo (if that's your thing).

Reception 

The grand entrance - usually the bridal party, parents, and finally the couple make a grand entrance into the reception (announced by your DJ or emcee). 

Special dances -  the first dance can immediately follow the grand entrance (good for those who want to get it out of the way), or it can be used as the opener for the open dance floor. There are also parent dances, which can include grandparents or other parental figures in your life. The anniversary dance can be added onto the first dance, if the couple is doing the first dance to open the dance floor, or can be a standalone activity. This is where all married couples go to the dance floor, while the DJ or emcee announces a number of years (going up from 1, and can be done in 5s). Once the year that is the amount of time you've been married is announced, you sit down, and the last couple to stand (the couple married the longest) "wins". The money or dollar dance is to help the couple start their new life together financially, and guests can pay for a dance with the bride or groom. 

The cake - From cake toppers, to the cake cutting and more, let's get to it. Traditionally, the wedding cake is several tiers and designed to feed all the guests, and is topped with a wedding topper that signifies the bride and groom. The bride and groom will make the first cut and feed a bite to each other. The top tier or a slice of cake can be saved by the serving staff to be frozen, so the bride and groom can take it home and keep it frozen until their first anniversary, where it then gets eaten. In more recent years, non-cake options have become a trend for those who are not a fan of cake. There also can be a "cutting cake" for the bride and groom, and several other dessert options for guests to make it easier to serve. 

Toasts and speeches - before dinner is served, the welcome speech can be given by the bride and groom to thank guests for being there on their special day. A pre-meal blessing can also be given if having a religious ceremony. Toasts and other speeches are typically given after the meal, and can be given while dessert is being served - typically, the father of the bride, best man, and maid of honor are the three main speech givers, but both sets of parents and bridal party are given the option to make speeches. 

Guest book (and other creative alternatives) - gives the couple a keepsake of their wedding day and keeps track of who came to their wedding. In a guest book, guests typically write their well wishes for the couple.

Clinking glasses - not a tradition for those who are PDA-adverse, but is a sweet tradition where if guests cling their glass (or ring bells), the bride and groom are supposed to kiss. 

Bouquet toss - a fun tradition, but also not for everyone, where the bride throws a bouquet (it does not have to be her own if you want to save your bouquet) to a crowd of non-married women who attended the wedding, and tradition says whoever catches it will be the next to get married.

Garter removal and/or toss - this tradition is also not for everyone, and is actually becoming less and less common. The groom typically (and most of the time in a sly manner) removes the brides garter and tosses it to a group of waiting, non-married men. Whoever catches the garter is supposed to give it to his future spouse. Sometimes, the person who caught the garter places it on the leg of the person who caught the bouquet, or the two dance together. 

Grand exit/send off - the old tradition is throwing rice on the bride and groom as they leave, which is to symbolize the wish for the newly-weds prosperity and fruitfulness. However, in recent years, people have discovered rice is one, very hard to clean up, and two, not great for the local wildlife. Eco-friendly options, such as bird seed, leaf confetti, lavender (or other florals), or biodegradable confetti have been used in more recent years in its stead. Sparklers, glow sticks, and other colorful/bright options have also become popular for night-time send offs. Refer to your venue's policies on what you can use for the send off!